Five years ago, when I started at TMC as a freshman, I realized that it was kind of a “new leaf” in making friends… the friends that I had had from high school, some of which I had known since kindergarten, were going to different colleges.  Only a few people that I was close to were accompanying me to TMC.  I had been told that the people you meet in college could very well become your life-long friends, and thus I prayed and asked the Lord, “God, please bring me friends who will always point me to you.”

Five years later, He’s still so kindly and graciously answering that prayer.  Last week, my friend Robby Wisnewski came out to stay for about 5 days.  Incredible blessing, one I wasn’t even looking for but now see I desperately needed.  I met Robby the day I moved into C-Dub, and he just offered to help me move in my stuff (he was serving me so much, I thought he was on SLS– nope! just a nice guy).  We’ve been friends since and I got to be his roommate my junior year.  Choosing to room with him was probably one of the only good decisions I made that entire year (oh, how we learn from our mistakes).

This past week spent having Robby out here, especially coming off the Resolved Conference (which was all about Sin in our lives), has injected a new vigor in my life to keep fighting the good fight.  Robby’s leaving for two years of overseas ministry in a few months, and just talking with him about life and death and heaven and hell and the fact that we are one day going to stand before a Holy God and give an account concerning how we’ve lived our lives and what we’ve done with the days He gave us has been incredibly sobering.

If anything, my passion to live a holy life characterized by love for God and admiration for Him, with proclaiming the glory of Christ as my goal, and recognizing that I am completely dependent on the convicting, regenerating, and comforting work of the Holy Spirit in my life has only increased… and that did not stem from me, but from the kindness of a good God Who is far bigger and greater and terrifying and lovely than I realize… but I want to know Him deeper. 

I am so thankful that He still answers 5-year-old prayers.

Personally speaking, as someone who has wrestled with doubt himself, I can tell you briefly a few things.  First, please know that many people, including many Christians, struggle with doubt.  You are definitely not the first person in Church History to struggle with doubt.  I am often reminded of and encouraged by the father of the demon-possessed boy in Mark 9:23, who cried out to Jesus, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”  In some instances, the doubts are justified: the person doubting in these cases is not a believer, and is desperate need to repent and to turn and submit to the glorious Person of Jesus Christ.  In other cases, the doubts are not justified; either the person’s own sinful thought patterns, or possibly even the forces of the Evil One are bearing down upon a Christian.

I’m not trying to tell you that you are saved or that you are not saved; only the Lord knows that.  And you are doing well by obeying the command we all have to examine ourselves to see if we are in the faith (2 Corinthians 13:5).  However, I would encourage you to not lose hope.  As long as you are breathing, you are receiving God’s kindness, because in Him we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28) and in Him all things hold together, including you (Colossians 1:17).  And since we know that we are receiving God’s kindness, we must know that it is meant to lead us to repentance (Romans 2:4).  So don’t ever give up hope!!!  If you are not already a Christian, there is still an opportunity for you to turn, repent, and be saved, because God is extending to you the kindness of life.

Remember, the message of Salvation is for everyone who will believe, that God is calling ALL men to repentance (Acts 17:30), that God doesn’t take delight in the death of the wicked (Ezekiel 30:11), God is willing that none should perish but that all should come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9), that if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9), and that He is standing at the door and is knocking and He will come to the one who opens the door to Him (Revelation 3:20).  Remember that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1) and that salvation does not come to anyone who works for it but rather it comes to the one who trusts in God who justifies the ungodly (Romans 4:5).  Remember that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6), and He offers Himself to anyone who thirsts for true life (John 7:37), and He will NEVER cast out anyone who comes to Him (John 6:37).

Every time we see a true conversion story in the Bible it involves two elements: Repentance and Faith.  Now, these two elements are true gifts from God, because we are dead in our sins before He acts in us (Ephesians 2:1-10).  However, we do know that true repentance is “a change of mind so complete that it leads to a change of life,” (from the definition of the Greek term “metanoia”, which is what is usually translated as “repentance” in the NT) and that true Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1).  These are gifts from God, and He delights in giving them, because He delights in practicing what the OT calls “steadfast love” (Jeremiah 9:24), which is essentially the NT concept of “grace.”  Remember that He is a God of salvation and to Him belong deliverances from death (Psalm 68:20), and that He is good and forgiving and abounding in love to ALL who call upon Him (Psalm 86:5).  So, the one who truly desires these gifts of true repentance and true faith needs only to call upon the Lord, and He WILL grant them.  Remember, it is impossible for God to lie (Hebrews 6:18) and that He has promised that if we really and fully trust in Him, He will act to our benefit and not our harm (Psalm 37:5; Proverbs 3:5-6).

I can assure you, based on the revealed character of God as found within Holy Scripture, that if you cry out in true brokenness over your sin and beg God for the mercy that was made specifically manifest in the Person, righteous life, and atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ, He will answer you.  This means you must place your faith completely in His perfect life (in which He completely fulfilled the demands of the law– Matthew 5:17) and in His atoning sacrifice on the Cross (in which He completely paid your debt and took your punishment that you earned because of your sins), fully believing what Paul wrote to the Corinthians; that God made Jesus, who never sinned, to take our record and guiltiness of sin, and in doing so, we can have the perfect and complete Righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21).

What does it mean to “place your faith in Jesus”?  I’ve often asked this question.  It means you trust Him completely to have already paid for your debt in full, trusting completely that He nailed the record of all your sins to the Cross (Colossians 2:13-14), and that He rose from the dead, thus conquering death for those who believe in Him and also proving true ALL of His claims (Romans 10:9-10; 1 Corinthians 15).  Please know that to put your faith in Jesus Christ also involves believing completely that He is Who He said He is, and He clearly said over and over that He was One with God the Father (John 10:30), and that He was the great I AM, the God of the OT Who spoke to Abraham and Moses (John 8:58; Mark 14:61-62).  This means that if we believe He is Savior, we also by necessity believe that He is God.  And if we then really believe He is God, then we must realize that He has all authority over everything, including you and me and every person (Psalm 24:1; Matthew 28:18), and that He is Lord of all (Philippians 2:9-11).  This means that if we are to believe in Christ to be our Savior, we absolutely must also submit to Him as Lord.  He is the Master, we are the slaves.  He is the Teacher, we are the students.  He is the Shepherd, we are the sheep (John 10).  To put our faith in Him is to die to our old selves, to fully and completely renounce the entire way we have lived in our sin and to follow Him in both beliefs and in practically living out our lives (Luke 9:23-24).  It means to give Him control of absolutely everything we have: our lives, our talents, our skills, our intellect, our resources, our time, our money, our futures, our very souls. But know this, that when we take His yoke upon us and submit ourselves to His direction, He is a kind Master who is gentle and promises rest for our souls.   The Bible says that for every person, either they will follow an idol (whether it be themselves, or something else) or they will follow Christ.  You have to follow and submit to someone or something; that’s not an option.  The only question is, Whom will you follow?  If you submit your life to any kind of idol, you will perish; if you submit your life to Christ, you gain the wonderful gift of God Himself!  But please remember and count the cost:  true salvation also includes complete submission.

Remember that God doesn’t want our works, no matter how impressive they are to us, but rather He promises to regard the man who is humble, broken over sin, and who respectfully fears His Word (Isaiah 66:2).  And remember that the truly repentant Tax Collector who was weeping over His sin (not only over the consequences of his sin, but over the fact that He was somebody who had offended the All-Powerful and Only Holy God) and was begging God for mercy was justified in God’s eyes (Luke 18:13-14).  Trust Jesus completely when He says that the person who hears His words and truly believes in the God of the Bible will not come into eternal judgment but will pass from death to life (John 5:24).  Have faith in God, and believe that He is Who He says He is: The Only True God who is merciful and gracious and slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgressions and sin, but Who will by no means clear the guilty (Exodus 34:6-7).  If you want to please God, you must have this real and true faith, because whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him (Hebrews 11:6).

Let me leave you with two passages that have greatly encouraged me:

“Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat… Incline your ear, and come to me; hear, that your soul may live… Seek the Lord  while He may be found, call upon Him while He is near; let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord that He may have compassion on him, and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon.” (Isaiah 55:1, 3, 5-6)

“Since then we have a great High Priest Who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession.  For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but One Who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.  Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”  (Hebrews 4:14-16)

So, there is this thing in the back of the MacArthur Study Bible; except that it’s only references… I thought it might be good to type out all of the verses.  I’m in the midst of doing a Bible study on all of these, praying through them.  If you’ve got some time on your hands, you might want to check them out.

May you grow in grace and godliness and live a life that honors the Savior.

“Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves!  Or do you realize this about yourselves that Jesus Christ is in you— unless indeed you fail the test?”

– 2 Corinthians 13:5

Evidences that Neither Prove nor Disprove One’s Faith:

A.     Visible Morality:

a.       Matthew 19:16-21- And someone (the rich young ruler) came to Him and said, “Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may obtain eternal life?”  And He said to him, “Why are you asking what is good?  There is only One who is good; but if you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments.”  Then he said to Him, “Which ones?”  And Jesus said, “You shall not commit murder; You shall not commit adultery; You shall not steal; You shall not bear false witness; Honor your father and mother; and You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”  The young man said to Him, “All these things I have kept; what am I still lacking?”  Jesus said to him, “If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”

b.      Matthew 23:27- “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!  For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness.”

B.     Intellectual Knowledge:

a.       Romans 1:21- For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened.

b.      Romans 2:17ff- But if you bear the name “Jew” and rely upon the Law and boast in God, and know His will and approve the things that are essential, being instructed out of the Law, and are confident that you yourself are a guide to the blind, a light to those who are in darkness, a corrector of the foolish, a teacher of the immature, having in the Law the embodiment of knowledge and of the truth, you therefore, who teach another, do you not teach yourself?  You who preach that one shall not steal, do you steal?  You who say that one should not commit adultery, do you commit adultery?  You who abhor idols, do you rob temples?  You who boast in the Law, through your breaking the Law, do you dishonor God?  For “the name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you,” just as it is written.  For indeed circumcision is of value if you practice the Law; but if you are a transgressor of the Law, your circumcision has become uncircumcision.  So if the uncircumcised man keeps the requirements of the Law, will not his uncircumcision be regarded as circumcision?  And he who is physically uncircumcised, if he keeps the Law, will he not judge you who though having the letter of the Law and circumcision are a transgressor of the Law?  For he is not a Jew who is one outwardly, nor is circumcision that which is outwardly in the flesh.  But he is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is that which is of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter; and his praise is not from men, but from God.

C.     Religious Involvement:

a.       Matthew 25:1-13- “Then the kingdom of heaven will be comparable to ten virgins, who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom.  Five of them were foolish, and five were prudent.  For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them, but the prudent took oil in flasks along with their lamps.  Now while the bridegroom was delaying, they all got drowsy and began to sleep.  But at midnight there was a shout, ‘Behold, the bridegroom!  Come out to meet him.’  Then all those virgins rose and trimmed their lamps.  The foolish said to the prudent, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’  But the prudent answered, ‘No, there will not be enough for us and you too; go instead to the dealers and buy some for yourselves.’  And while they were going away to make the purchase, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding feast; and the door was shut.  Later the other virgins also came, saying, ‘Lord, lord, open up for us.’  But he answered, ‘Truly I say to you, I do not know you.’  Be on the alert then, for you do not know the day nor the hour.”

D.     Active Ministry:

a.       Matthew 7:21-24- “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter.  Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’  And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; Depart from Me, your who practice lawlessness.’”

E.     Conviction of Sin:

a.       Acts 24:25- But as he (Paul) was discussing righteousness, self-control and the judgment to come, Felix became frightened and said, “Go away for the present and when I find time I will summon you.”

F.      Assurance:

a.       Matthew 23- Then Jesus spoke to the crowds and to His disciples, saying: “The scribes and the Pharisees have seated themselves in the chair of Moses; therefore all that they tell you, do and observe, but do not do according to their deeds; for they say things and do not do them.  They tie up heavy burdens and lay them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are unwilling to move them with so much as a finger.  But they do all their deeds to be noticed by men; for they broaden their phylacteries and lengthen the tassels of their garments.  They love they place of honor at banquets and the chief seats in the synagogues, and respectful greetings in the market places, and being called Rabbi by men.  But do not be called Rabbi, for One is your Teacher, and you are all brothers.  Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven.  Do not be called leaders; for One is your Leader, that is, Christ.  But the greatest among you shall be your servant.  Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted.  But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, because you shut off the kingdom of heaven from people; for you do not enter in yourselves, nor do you allow those who are entering to go in.  [Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, because you devour widows’ houses, and for a pretense you make long prayers; therefore you will receive greater condemnation.]  Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, because you travel around on sea and land to make one proselyte; and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as yourselves.  Woe to you, blind guides, who say, ‘Whoever swears by the temp, that is nothing; but whoever swears by the gold of the temple is obligated.’  You fools and blind men!  Which is more important, the gold or the temple that sanctified the gold?  And, ‘Whoever swears by the altar, that is nothing, but whoever swears by the offering on it, he is obligated.’  You blind men, which is more important, the offering, or the altar that sanctifies the offering?  Therefore, whoever swears by the altar, swears both by the altar and everything on it.  And whoever swears by the temple swears both by the temple and by Him who dwells within it.  And whoever swears by heaven, swears both by the throne of God and by Him who sits upon it.  Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!  For you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and have neglected the weightier provisions of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness; but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others.  You blind guides, who strain out a gnat and swallow a camel!  Woe to you scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!  For you clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside they are full of robbery and self-indulgence.  You blind Pharisee, first clean the inside of the cup and of the dish, so that the outside of it may become clean also.  Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!  For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness.  So you, too, outwardly appear righteous to men, but inwardly are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.  Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!  For you build the tombs of the prophets and adorn the monuments of the righteous, and say, ‘If we had been living in the days of our fathers, we would not have been partners with them in shedding the blood of the prophets.’  So you testify against yourselves, that you are sons of those who murdered the prophets.  Fill up, then, the measure of the guilt of your fathers.  Your serpents, you brood of vipers, how will you escape the sentence of hell?  Therefore, behold, I am sending you prophets and wise men and scribes; some of them you will kill and crucify, and some of them you will scourge in your synagogues, and persecute from city to city, so that upon you may fall the guilt of all the righteous blood shed on earth, from the blood of the righteous Able to the blood of Zechariah, the son of Berechiah, whom you murdered between the temple and the altar.  Truly I say to you, all these things will come upon this generation.  Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her!  How often I wanted to gather your children together, the way a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were unwilling.  Behold, your house is being left to you desolate!  For I say to you, from now on you will not see Me until you say, ‘Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!’”

G.    Time of Decision:

a.       Luke 8:13-14- “But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven, but was beating his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, the sinner!’  I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself with be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

The Fruit/Proofs of Authentic/True Christianity:

A.     Love for God:

a.       Psalm 42- As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for you O God.  My soul thirsts for God, for the living God; when shall I come and appear before God?  My tears have been my food day and night, While they say to me all day long, “Where is your God?”  These things I remember and I pour out my soul within me.  For I used to go along with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God, with the voice of joy and thanksgiving, a multitude keeping festival.  Why are you in despair, O my soul?  And why have you become disturbed within me?  Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence.  O my God, my soul is in despair within me; therefore I will remember You from the land of the Jordan and the peaks of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.  Deep calls to deep at the sound of Your waterfalls; All your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me.  The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime; and His song will be with me in the night, a prayer to the God of my life.  I will say to God my rock, “Why have you forgotten me?  Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?”  As a shattering of my bones, my adversaries revile me, while they say to me all day long, “Where is your God?”  Why are you in despair, O my soul?  And why have you become disturbed within me?  Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God.

b.      Psalm 73:25- Whom have I in heaven but you?  And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.

c.       Luke 10:27- And He (Christ) said to him, “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.”

d.      Romans 8:7- …because the mind set on the flesh is hostile to God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so…

B.     Repentance from Sin:

a.       Psalm 32:5- I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I did not hide; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord”; and You forgave the guilt of my sin.  Selah.

b.      Proverbs 28:13- He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion.

c.       Romans 7:14-25- For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin.  For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate.  But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good.  So no, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.  For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not.  For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil I do not want.  But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.  I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good.  For I joyfully concur with the Law of God, the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members.  Wretched man that I am!  Who will set me free from the body of this death?  Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!  So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.

d.      2 Corinthians 7:10- For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation. But the sorrow of the world produces death.

e.       1 John 1:8-10- If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  If we say we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.

C.     Genuine Humility

a.       Psalm 51:17- The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.

b.      Matthew 5:1-12- When Jesus saw the crowds, He went up on the mountain; and after He sat down, His disciples came to Him.  He opened His mouth and began to teach them, saying, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.  Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth.  Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.  Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.  Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you and say all kinds of evil against you because of Me.  Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

c.       James 4:6-17- But He gives a greater grace.  Therefore it says, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”  Submit therefore to God.  Resist the devil and he will flee from you.  Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.  Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.  Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy into gloom.  Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.  Do not speak against one another, brethren.  He who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks against the law and judges the law; but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge of it.  There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and to destroy; but who are you who judge your neighbor?  Come now, you say, “today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.”  Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow.  You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.  Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.”  But as it is, you boast in your arrogance; all such boasting is evil.  Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.

D.     Devotion to God’s Glory:

a.       Psalms 105:3- Glory in His holy name; Let the heart of those who seek the Lord be glad.

b.      Psalms 115:1- Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to Your name give glory because of Your lovingkindness, because of Your truth.

c.       Isaiah 43:7- “Everyone who is called by My name, and whom I have created for My glory, Whom I have formed, even whom I have made.”

d.      Isaiah 48:10ff- “Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.  For My sake, for My own sake, I will act; For how can My name be profaned?  And My glory I will not share with another.”

e.       Jeremiah 9:23-24- Thus says the Lord, “Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches; but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the Lord who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things,” declares the Lord.

f.       1 Corinthians 10:31- Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

E.     Continual Prayer:

a.       Luke 18:1- Now He was telling them a parable to show that at all times they ought to pray and not to lose heart…

b.      Ephesians 6:18ff- With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints…

c.       Philippians 4:6ff- Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.   And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

d.      1 Timothy 2:1-4- First of all, then, I urge that entreaties and prayers, petitions and thanksgivings, be made on behalf of all men, for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity.  This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.

e.       James 5:16-18- Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed.  The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.  Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the earth for three years and six months.  The he prayed again, and the sky poured raid and the earth produced its fruit.

F.      Selfless Love:

a.       1 John 2:9ff- The one who loves his brother abides in the Light and there is no cause for stumbling in him.  But the one who hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going because the darkness has blinded his eyes.

b.      1 John 3:14- We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren.  He who does not love abides in death.

c.       1 John 4:7ff-  Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.   The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.  By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him.  In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.  Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.  No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us.  By this we know that we abide in Him and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit.  We have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son to be the Savior of the world.

G.    Separation from the World:

a.       1 Corinthians 2:12- Now we have received, not the Spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God…

b.      James 4:4ff- You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God?  Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.  Or do you think that the Scripture speaks to no purpose: “He jealously desires the Spirit which He has made to dwell in us”?

c.       1 John 2:15-17- Do not love the world nor the things in the world.  If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.  For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.  The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever.

d.      1 John 5:5- Who is the one who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?

H.    Spiritual Growth:

a.       Luke 8:15- “But the seed in the good soil, these are the ones who have heard the word in an honest and good heart, and hold it fast, and bear fruit with perseverance.”

b.      John 15:1-6- “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser.  Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit.  You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you.  Abide in Me, and I in you.  As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me.  I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.  If anyone does not abide in Me, he is thrown away as a branch and dries up; and they gather them, and cast them into the fire and they are burned.”

c.       Ephesians 4:12-16- …for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; until we all attain to the unity of faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ.  As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming; but by speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.

I.       Obedient Living:

a.       Matthew 7:21- “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter.”

b.      John 15:14ff- “You are My friends if you do what I command you.  No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all thigns that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.  You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in my name He may give to you.  This I command you, that you love one another.”

c.       Romans 16:26- …but now is manifested, and by the Scriptures of the prophets, according to the commandments of the eternal God, has been made known to all the nations, leading to obedience of faith…

d.      1 Peter 1:2- …according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, by the sanctifying work of the Spirit, to obey Jesus Christ and be sprinkled with His blood:  May grace and peace be yours in the fullest measure.

e.       1 Peter 1:22- Since you have in obedience to the truth purified your souls for a sincere love of the brethren, fervently love one another from the heart…

f.       1 John 2:3-6- By this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments.  The one who says, “I have come to know Him,” and does not keep His commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him;  but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected.  By this we know that we are in Him: the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked.

J.      Hunger for God’s Word:

a.       1 Peter 2:1-3- Therefore, putting aside all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander, like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation, if you have tasted the kindness of the Lord.

K.    Transformation of Life:

a.       2 Corinthians 5:17- Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

The Conduct of the Gospel:

A.     Proclaim it:

a.       Matthew 4:23- Jesus was going throughout all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every kind of disease and every kind of sickness among the people.

B.     Defend it:

a.       Jude 3- Beloved, while I was making every effort to write you about our common salvation, I felt the necessary to write to you appealing that you contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all handed down to the saints.

C.     Demonstrate it:

a.       Philippians 1:27- Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or remain absent, I will hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel…

D.     Share it:

a.       Philippians 1:5- …in view of your participation in the gospel from the first day until now.

E.     Suffer for it:

a.       2 Timothy 1:8- Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord or of me His prisoner, but join with me in suffering for the gospel according to the power of God…

F.      Don’t hinder it:

a.       1 Corinthians 9:12- If others share the right over you, do we not more?  Nevertheless, we did not use this right, but we endure all things so that we will cause no hindrance to the gospel of Christ.

G.    Be not ashamed:

a.       Romans 1:16- For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.

H.    Preach it:

a.       1 Corinthians 9:16- For if I preach the gospel, I have nothing to boast of, for I am under compulsion; for woe is me if I do not preach the gospel.

I.       Be empowered:

a.       1 Thessalonians 1:5- …for our gospel did not come to you in word only, but also in power and in the Holy Spirit and with full conviction; just as you know what kind of men we proved to be among you for your sake.

J.      Guard it:

a.       Galatians 1:6-8- I am amazed that you are so quickly deserting Him who called you by the grace of Christ, for a different gospel; which is really not another; only there are some who are disturbing you and want to distort the gospel of Christ.  But even if we, or an angel from heaven, should preach to you a gospel contrary to what we have preached to you, he is to be accursed!

I’m tired and not tired… hopefully the title of this post will explain the randomness of this post.

I haven’t blogged in long time.  That’s pretty much because I haven’t had anything worthwhile to say.  There’s enough junk and bad info floating around in this world; I don’t feel I particularly need to contribute any more worthless noise to the universe.

Family Matters was overall a good show.  Not incredibly intellectually stimulating, but it was definitely more wholesome than the junk on TV today.

I don’t really like The Office that much anymore.  I know- shocking.  The old jokes are definitely funny; and I don’t think I’ll stop saying “yesh” for a while, but I just can’t really continue to stomach the kind of humor The Office has begun to produce.  There’s just nothing really redeemable about it anymore; it’s offensive and crude and I can’t imagine Christ smiles when jokes about drunkeness and lewd behavior fly left and right.  Plus, with the Jim and Pam tension gone, there’s just not much driving the show.

I really want to know God on a deeper level.  I honestly feel like that’s been missing.  But think about it– what does God say in Jeremiah 9 that should be the one thing anybody should boast in?  That they understand and KNOW God.  What does Christ say in Matthew 7 was the fatal flaw of the false believers?  That they never KNEW Him.  What does Paul say in Philippians 3 is the most important thing above all else?  That he may KNOW Christ and the power of His resurrection.  When I think about my knowing God, I am sorely convicted that it could be stronger and more fervent.  Sometimes I feel like I know a lot ABOUT God… way more than I KNOW Him.  I was just given a book written by John Owen called Communion With God. Prayerfully, I’ll have time in the near future to read what this godly man has to say on knowing God and benefit from it.

Which brings me to one of my age-old questions… one I know the intellectual answer to, but I always have a rough time fleshing out- how much of sanctification is His grace and how much is our effort?  I know it’s 100% His grace… but we don’t just sit on our hands.  We work, acknowledging that it is only and totally through His strength we are able to work… but our acknowledging of His grace has to be more than giving Him credit after the fact, right?

I HATE the health-and-wealth gospel.  I HATE it.  The TV’s on right now and there’s this televangelist screaming and butchering the Scriptures saying that if you give to his ministry, you’ll feel better physically and all your monetary problems will be solved.  No joke.  This is for reals.  And I HATE it.  Seriously… he is currently hocking “tailor-made miracles for your specific situation”.  Ugh.  Shudder.

I’m starting Seminary in a few weeks.  I’m scared.  I know that the Lord goes before His children in whatever they do if they are humbly submitting their lives to them.  I’m still a little apprehensive, though.  I’ve seen pastors fall and hurt people on their way down.  I know of the stricter standard God holds those who hold church leadership.  The stakes are higher.  I don’t want to screw up.  I want to be faithful to the end, whenver that may be.

I bought a new pickup truck the day after Thanksgiving.  The Lord definitely provided after a lot of prayer.  However, it was one of those things where you trust Him, but at the end of the process, He shows you just how much more you needed to trust Him… you know?  He exposes your lack of faith and still shows Himself to be kind and faithful despite of our weakness.

I reallyt like Burt Reynold’s red shirt from Smokey and The Bandit.  I know, I know, I have a weird sense of fashion… or perhaps a non-existent sense of fashion.

I’m really going to miss my brother next semester when he goes to IBEX.  Nobody makes me laugh like Mikey does- nobody.  He does the craziest things and says even crazier things… I usually laugh so hard I cry at least twice a week.

I guess, to finish it up, I should probably write a little bit about one of the coolest things going on right now… I’m dating a super-cool girl.  She’s really godly and incredibly fun to talk to and hang out with.  Honestly, she pushes me to be a godlier man just by the way she lives her life.  She’s committed to prayer and to the Truth of the Scriptures and to proclaiming the Gospel boldly.  The genuine authenticity of her faith is an encouragement and example to me.  She’s one of the most compassionate and selfless people I’ve ever met.  Plus, she totally kicks my tail in chess and she has great taste in books, movies, and coffee.  Yep, she rocks.

Ok, that’s pretty much it.  I’m getting kind of tired now.  May you grow in grace and godliness and die to self daily as you follow the Savior.

Any of my roommates from college (and my family, for that matter), will tell you that my music tastes are, at best, eclectic.

One of the guys I’m a big fan of is the better half of that timeless duo, Simon & Garfunkel, Paul Simon.  Together, they were really, really good.  Separate, Paully-boy made quite a name for himself while Art had a career with success comparable to that of the Spruce Goose.

In my senior year of high school, during football season (so about 5 years ago exactly), I first heard Simon’s song called “Slip Slidin’ Away”.  The nearer your destination, the chorus declared, the more you’re slip slidin’ away.  It’s a catchy song, to be honest… and it’s just got a sound that is perfect for rainy days and a rich cup of coffee.

However, I think this song might be one of those instances where someone who didn’t know the truth of Scripture actually said something right (a la Caiaphas, who said in John 11 that it was good for “one man to die for the nation…”), albeit with most likely an entirely different meaning than we may take it to be.  But Simon’s words echo in a way what I’ve been thinking… the more I’ve thought about the fact that we stand on the brink of eternity, the more I find I care less about so many things that used to enrapture my focus and passions.

Think about it, though.  We are one car accident, one slip on wet concrete, one internal disease away from leaving this life.  We are physically fragile- more than we give ourselves credit for.  We have no control over traffic, over the carelessness for others, over the own internal workings (or failure thereof).  Our time may be up in 50 years.  Or 50 seconds.

But I know this- you’re closer to your eternal destination now than when you started reading this.  Do you know where you’re going?  I don’t meant to be preaching on the blogosphere; I don’t want to be preaching on the blogosphere.  But this might be the most important question you ask yourself.  Do you know where you’re going?  Are you afraid to die?

You’re slip slidin’ away, whether you realize it or not.

“Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears My Word and believes in Him Who sent Me has eternal life.  He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life.”   — Jesus (John 5:24)

*****Political Sidenote: those who’ve known me over the last 5 years know that I have definitely become less politically-orientated over time.  But I will say this about the upcoming election, since a week from now we’ll know whom God has chosen to lead these morally bankrupt United States: I don’t think the GOP is going to take this one.  I’m sad, not because I’m too thrilled with the concept of 4 more years of Republican leadership, but because I’m definitely NOT looking forward to a certain Senator’s plan of redistribution… or universal healthcare… or probably future restrictions on the evangelical fundamentalist Christian’s practical exercise of his or her personal beliefs (e.g.- “No Spanking” Laws, anyone?).  However, I did hear this joke this evening from one of the guys that are on security with me down at G-Comm that brought a wry smile of chagrin to my face; I’ll share it with you.

“He’s always talking about change.  Change, change, change.  Well, that’s all you’ll have when he’s done with you– just some spare change!”

This morning, I did my daily dose of push-ups to Relient K’s rendition of The Bangle’s smash hit, “Manic Monday.” 

Why, you ask?  Well, I need to do push-ups… it’s sort of been an “off-season” for me and working out since…. well, since I left for IBEX.  I thought my “self-defense” course I took last Spring would put me back into shape… all it did was made me look like I had cerebral palsy compared to the Athletes who were taking the class only so they could graduate.  Humiliating, to be sure.

Oh, you meant, why listen to “Manic Monday”?  Ah, I see.  Well, because it’s Monday.  But this just isn’t any Monday, no-siree-bob.  This is Monday of the Big Week.  The Big Show.  I’m talking game day here, people.

Thursday is the beginning of College View Weekend.  *DUH-DUH-DUH* (dramatic music)

So, I’m kinda on edge this week.  (I’m not going to use the term “stressing”, because my predecessor, Jonathan Holmes, taught me that “stress is actually a sinful response of worry and anxiety and often anger to unfortunate or uncomfortable situations”).  I know everyone keeps saying that “College View Weekend will go just fine, it practically runs itself”… but I’m just waiting for the inevitable tragedy to befall me and have registration messed up, or the food arrive at the wrong time, or a natural disaster such as a Tsunami hit TMC, or the Portuguese will finally attack (don’t think it won’t happen- they’ve had it out for us for a while), or pretty much the Universe will implode.

Yep, that’s the forecast for my week.  I’ll keep you posted.  Or maybe I won’t, because an anvil might fall out of the sky onto my head.  Who knows.

Growing up in church, we’d sing a song that would go like this:

“Make me a servant, Humble and meek, Lord let me lift up those who are weak, and may the prayer of my heart always be- make me a servant, make me a servant, make me a servant today.”

I really like this song, I really do.  Why, you ask?  Because every time I sing it, it usually comes out as an earnest prayer for God to help me where I feel like I sorely lack.

I go to one of the most populous churches around.  I don’t say that to brag.  I have a theory though, that for every person you have in a church, there are just as many (and probably more) ways you can serve, because we can minister to EVERYONE in the Body of Christ.  Therefore, since my church has a massive amount of people, there are massive ways I can serve.

I enjoy serving… but oh, does pride always knock at the door.  Sometimes it gets really hard.  The thing that hit me tonight after reading my good friend Micah Lugg’s blog was the reason I serve.  I desperately try to serve with complete 100% genuine humility… but as Derek Webb once sang, “there are things you would not believe that travel into my mind- I swear I try and capture them, but I always set them free…”  You have to have constant vigilance against pride.

I asked myself tonight, why do I come to church– is it to be served or to serve?  This came up in a discussion I had the privilege of participating in a few mornings ago… what is the point of a marriage?  So many guys out there have the misconception (whether they realize it or not), that they are looking for the best mate for them (selfishly), instead of looking for the person whom they can best serve.  Convicting.  Really convicting.

So, I guess the redeeming factor of this blog would be this: why do you serve?  Seriously?  Who are you wanting to see you?  What are you looking to get out of it?  Jesus served because He loved His Father and wanted to do His work.  He served so that He could bring compassion and comfort and salvation to those around Him.  He didn’t serve to get Himself noticed– He even turned down being the political king one time!

Lord, make me a genuine, selfless servant.  Please grant me a deeper love for You and for those around me.  Forgive me when I fail.  Amen.

20 years ago I…
1. was two years old.
2. talked incessantly.
3. was dressed in some of the dumbest clothes I’ve ever seen.

10 years ago I…
1. was a total Star Wars nerd
2. started Jr. High
3. played my last year of AYSO soccer

5 years ago I…
1. was captain of my High School’s Varsity football team

2. dated and broke up with my first “girlfriend” (we were never official, for the record).
3. Got my first car… a ‘94 Ford F-150, which I eventually named “The Ox”

3 years ago I…
1. Moved into Slight and roomed with Hugh and Houston Jackson
2. Read through the Gospels because I felt that I didn’t really know who Christ was.
3. Started attending Generations Bible Study, one of the cheif joys of my life.

1 year ago I…
1. Was in Israel, Seeing amazing things, studying the Bible, and learning very hard lessons I hadn’t expected learning, but definitely needed to.
2. grew a goatee… my first foray into facial hair… it was a disaster.
3. Realized that the Lord was calling me to Seminary and not Law School.

So far this year I…
1. Led a phenomenal 6-week missions trip to Uganda with a team of incredible people.
2. Drove cross-country with my best friend and his brothers.
3. was given a job (totally by the Lord) at TMC, the place where I’ve experienced the most happiness..

Yesterday I…
1. Watched every single deleted scene from Season 4 of The Office.
2. Took my co-worker John Melcon out for coffee and picked his brain about life, marriage, classic cars, Seminary education, and the current housing market.
3. Had steak for dinner…. and it was very, very good.

Today I…
1. Bought a super-cool hoodie at Old Navy with a 40%-off coupon my Dad had given me.
2. Drank two Pumpkin-Spice lattes from Starbucks and also brewed some Pumpkin Spice coffee in my office and then again at my house.
3. Got to hang out with my really cool brother and had a great discussion about how we ought to humbly interact with people.

Tomorrow I will…*
1. Go to beakfast at McDonald’s with my dad.
2. Clean off my desk, and pack clothes and prepare worship for Bible Study Retreat.
3. hopefully continue my study on the subject of Assurance of Salvation.

In the next year I will…*
1. Start taking classes at TMS and begin working on my Master’s of Divinity.
2. return to Israel for Sping 09’s Friends and Family trip.
3. return to Yosemite to go camping with my family.

The Animaniacs once sang, “The first day of school, we’re eager little learners, so fill our brains with lots of facts, the first day of school…”  Today marked the first start of the school year and I wasn’t in any form of class.  Trippy.

This past summer was probably the best summer of my life.  I graduated college May 9th.  Nine days later I led a missions trip to Uganda, Africa.  You can read my previous post, re-capping Uganda, but I can add this: the further removed I am from the trip, the more and more grateful I become for having had the privilege to lead the trip.  I learned so much, and the more I reflect, the more I see.  It was incredible.

However, if Uganda was a spiritual high point, the weeks following were a definite low.  I had thought I would be teaching Bible to Jr. Highers this fall, but two days before I left for Uganda, the school I applied to called me and said there were no positions open.  Needless to say, I had no idea what I’d be doing after I got back from Uganda.  The day after I got back from Uganda, I visited TMC, to catch up with friends, and on a whim, stopped in HR to see if they had any job postings.  There was an opening in the Admissions Department that intrigued me.  I interviewed for the job the next day.

The day after that, my best friend Hugh and I drove down to the OC to take two of our closest friends, Brittany and Meisha, out to lunch and tell them about Uganda.  We then left to catch a flight out to Atlanta, Georgia, to pick up Hugh’s car and drive it back.  We almost missed our flight because we took so long in the OC!  It was definitely close…

Spending time with the Jackson family in Atlanta was awesome.  They are a family which loves the Lord and is extremely hospitable.  They are so much fun!

Then Hugh, Houston, Hampton, and I drove cross-country in three days!  So many memories from that trip… but the few that stand out are the differences between my music and Houston’s music, Hampton’s smack talk, the Ozarks at sunset, the continental breakfast at the Day’s Inn in Oklahoma City, seeing the Grand Canyon with the Jackson brothers, and crossing the “Holy Moses” dry-river bed.

The sad part about this time was that I became so focused on whether or not I would get this job at TMC.  You see, I loved college.  Master’s is the place where I’ve experienced the most happiness.  But I began to be consumed with whether or not I would get the job…  Now don’t get me wrong, I definitely prayed about the job– I told the Lord every day that if He didn’t want me to work for TMC, then please please please don’t offer me the job.  So when I got the call offering me the job, I didn’t have to think twice.  I accepted it right then and there.

I started work and it was great.  My appreciation and respect for my boss grows every day as I see the way she manages us staff and handles the immense expectations placed upon her.  I grow to love my co-workers all the time.

A week after I started, I took my first week off.  I had already committed to being a camp counselor for Compass Bible Church’s summer camp Revival.  My friends Meisha Preston, Brittany Stewart, Katie Slusher, Missy Fry, Laura Revely, and Ben Blakey were all going to be there as staff and I had been contacted while in Uganda and was asked to help with the high school guys.  It was a great week.  Britt and I were the counselors for the Orange Team (the Convicts!) and the staff from Compass were so encouragingly loving and Christ-centered.  My guys were great and we had a lot of fun.  However, even though Revival camp was for the kids and to encourage growth in them, the Lord really used it to work in me.  You see, the kids had the opportunity to memorize Philippians 3:7-21 for points for the team competition.  In this passage, Paul talks about how he counted everything as loss, as trash, as dung when compared to attaining a relationship with Jesus Christ.  It hit me that I had this same desire that Paul had, but not for Christ… I had this passion for the job, not for my Savior.  I felt sick with myself.

So I came back, with a new sense of resolve and passion.  It’s kinda simple, really.  Read your Bible and pray.  Every day.  Then go live out what you read.  Love others.  Deny yourself.  Pattern your steps after Jesus’ steps.

Over the last few weeks, life has been going great.  Sometimes work gets overwhelming, but I love it.  I wake up every day knowing that I work for an institution I believe in.  Not that there’s anything magical about TMC.  I know it’s got its flaws, just like everywhere else.  But the Word of God is held high there.   The Lord is honored there.  People truly love one another and cherish community there.  Sin is not tolerated.  Most of all, it is being used to change peoples’ lives.  It changed my life.  So therefore, I LOVE working there because I know I’m helping further an institution that God can use to change peoples’ lives– to make people more in love with Him.  AWESOME!!!!

Over the past two weeks, Hugh and I have been able to drive down to visit our dear friends in the OC a few times.  We are truly blessed to know these incredible girls who love the Lord and love to have fun… and for some reason, they seem to like hanging out with us.  Go figure.  This past weekend, we hung out with them and celebrated Labor Day by watching Maverick, 10000 BC, and Aladdin, and by playing football and Ultimate Frisbee in the park and then wrapping it up with a little telephone pictionary.  Two weeks ago, we drove down and snuck in their house and cooked dinner to surprise Brittany for her birthday– it was a lot of fun.

So that’s been my summer… Graduating college, going on a six-week missions trip to Uganda, driving cross-country with my best friend, getting a phenomenal job, resolving to grow deeper in my relationship with Christ, sin being pointed out to me in God’s kindness, counseling great kids at a fun summer camp, and hanging out with awesome friends.  Life is good.

Bring on the fall.

So for “Preparation for Global Outreach”, which honestly was one of the coolest classes I took at Master’s, we have to do written debriefs after we get back from our summer missions trips.  Since a lot of people have been asking me about my 6-week trip to Uganda (I got back two weeks ago today), I figured I’d kill two birds with one stone and put an (edited) version of my debrief on my blog.  If you want the full presentation with pics, keep watching my facebook for descriptive photo albums.  If you want the ultra-cliff-notes edition of how my trip went, just skip to question 11.  Enjoy!

1.)    What about the touches, sites, sounds, and smells of your trip will you take home with you and what impact do you think it will have on your life in the States?

Wow.  I think the thing that will stick with me the most were the sights and smells of the slums we saw in Jinja.  It was hot, oppressive, and cramped.  The poverty was the worst I’d ever seen.  Half the children had absolutely no clothes.  The main source of income for the women was to work for twelve hours a day in illegal alcohol stills for slumlords—and these women were only paid 1,000 shillings a day (which amounts to about $0.05 an hour!).  The place reeked of alcohol.  Worse still was the unnerving feeling that seemed to emanate from the Witch Doctor’s hut right in the middle of the slum.  I still am stunned silent when I think about the sheer concentration of poverty, injustice, and demonic activity in one area that was less than a quarter-mile squared.  But one other thing I will never forget about our short time in the Jinja slums is the image of one of the members of the Faculty Team standing on the very doorstep of the Witch Doctor’s hut, clearly sharing the Gospel with about 20 kids from the slums who were listening to her with rapt attention.  It was incredibly encouraging to see the Light of God’s truth shining even in the darkest of places.

Another thing that I will never forget from the trip were the three days that I and the two other guys on my team were asked to preach at a Conference for Children’s Workers and Pastors in Northern Uganda (the Gulu area).  We preached for three solid days to about 75 people crammed in a large, long, straw-roof hut that was their church.  It was hot, sweaty, and dirty; but it was exhilarating.  The three of us felt definitely unworthy to be preaching to these people who had suffered so much (from both the war with the LRA and from HIV/AIDS) and very much in over our heads, but the Lord filled up what we lacked and proved Himself to be strong despite our weaknesses.  When we were asked questions, we would confer and then tackle the questions one by one, and we were surprised at the passages and words that would just come to mind.  To be used by God is this way was a thrilling privilege that I will not forget.

As far as what impact this will have on my life in the States, I now have an actual concept of what injustice in a third-world context looks like ingrained into my mind.  It has made me more passionate to see justice carried out.  It has made clear that demonic activity is very real—up until now, I’ve always believed that demons exist (because the Bible says so), but only in a theoretical sense.  Also, it has reinforced my belief that the Good News of Jesus Christ is the only ultimate answer for such darkness.  Finally, I have full confidence in the ability and willingness of the Lord to use unworthy people for His glory.

2.)    What do you wish you had known before you went?

Overall, I feel that I was very prepared for this trip.  I had talked quite a bit with people who had gone to Uganda before, and they were very helpful.  However, there were a few things I wish I had known beforehand.  I wish I had known that I would need a North Face jacket.  I wish I had known that I would need way more dress clothes and way less t-shirts.  I wish I had known that at times it’s very, very hard to be a Team Leader as well as a friend to everyone on the team.  I wish I had known just how hard it was going to be to keep a journal when you’re the Team Leader.  I wish I had known how to treat people more gently—I had to learn that the hard way.

3.)    What were you glad you didn’t know before you went?

I’m glad I didn’t know about the mosquitoes in Gulu that carry not only malaria but fast-acting meningitis.  I’m glad I didn’t know about the living conditions in the refugee camp beforehand.  I’m glad I didn’t know what posha or matooke tasted like beforehand.  I’m glad I didn’t know about basin-bathing beforehand.  I’m glad I didn’t know about eating the bowl of fried ants beforehand.  But the cool thing about all of these is that I found, time and again, that the Lord gives grace in the moments we need it—and we truly can handle anything that’s thrown our way, so long as we humbly rely on His strength and not our own.

4.)    What sins in your own heart have became apparent?

Ha.  This might take a while.  Actually, Shannon asked us this on the trip, and I was able to narrow it down to three main areas that the Lord made apparent.  Even better, I was able to list them with alliteration (classic TMS style).  The three main areas of sin were Immaturity, Insecurity, and Idolatry. 

I say “immaturity” in the sense that I was confronted with my serious lack of discretion in what I say, when I say it, whom I say it to, and how much I say.    God basically made it clear that there are times when I just need to keep my big mouth shut.  He also showed me that I definitely need to be more gracious in my speech.  This has been something that I’ve struggled with for a long time and have been working on to improve.  After reading through the book of Proverbs many times, it’s been made clear that “a babbling fool will come to ruin,” and that’s definitely not someone I want to be. 

The second area, that of “insecurity”, pertains to basically a wrong perception I’ve had of both God as well as the people around me.  About two weeks into the trip, I realized that I was very quick to believe that God was always angry and disappointed with me and that my team was always untrusting and resentful of my leadership.  The Lord made it clear that nothing could be further from the truth.  I realized that I was quick to believe God’s promises of wrath and anger but I didn’t really believe His promises of grace and forgiveness to the repentant.  I saw that this was causing me to fret about my spiritual condition to the point of rendering me practically ineffective and a hindrance to the team.  I also saw that this was a huge dishonor to the Lord—to believe fully that He was a God who was frustrated with me but never willing to forgive is to present a distorted image of Who He truly is.  Secondly, I was rendering myself a poor leader by believing that my team doubted my leadership when they didn’t at all.  God showed me that the fear of man had become such an issue that it was paralyzing me and that while I should be open to feedback and that I should always be teachable, I can’t spend all my time worrying about how people view me.  It’s just not productive.

Third, in regards to “idolatry”, I realized just how much I look for joy and satisfaction in things that are not God.  In many ways, life was simpler in Uganda.  There was more time for Bible-reading, for prayer, and for contemplation.  I took great joy in the amount of time I was able to spend dwelling on the things of the Lord; and in doing so, I realized just how much I didn’t do this in the States.  I realized that I was committing the sin that Israel is indicted for in Jeremiah 2- forsaking the Living Waters of God and chasing after broken cisterns that do not satisfy.   A huge catalyst in the process of this realization was Piper’s question in God is the Gospel: “would you be happy in Heaven if God wasn’t there?”

5.)    What have you learned about love?

a.      For God?  It was reinforced to me over and over that to truly love God is an act that is both a duty we fulfill and a passionate emotion we feel.  Christ said that the Greatest Commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind. Studying the Scriptures with Shannon, I saw over and over that we love God by serving Him as King and obeying His edict, which is the Word.  Reading God is the Gospel by Piper, I saw that loving God is a passionate emotion that we have because we cherish Him as the ultimate Treasure.

b.      Of God for you?  The main thing that was reinforced to me about God’s love for me is that it is unconditional.  This is something that I’ve always believed, albeit somewhat theoretically.  On top of that, I realized that I have been very prone to believe that God’s wrath and frustration is always waiting at the door, always waiting for me to make the slightest mistake; but I have been hesitant to really believe that God is willing to forgive, willing to show His love.  I reached a series of breaking points on this trip where I had to ask myself why was it I was so willing to believe God’s promises of wrath but not His promises of love.  I realized that if I’m going to say that I truly believe the entirety of the Scriptures, I have to also believe in God’s willingness to forgive.

c.       For your team?  Hmmm…. I realized that loving my team meant doing what was needed and not always what was popular.  In short, loving my team meant sacrificing without complaining and truly caring about their wellbeing.

d.      For the church?  Once again I was blown away by seeing the church in a non-American context.  I love being in church services where the songs and preaching are not in English.  And church services in Northern Uganda were especially incredible—their praise songs would be loud, a capella, joyous, and would each go for well more than ten minutes.  Needless to say, I got very, very good at clapping.  Another thing I loved about seeing the church in Uganda was that there were tons of people leading joyful lives that bring glory to the Lord and they’ve never even heard of The Master’s College.  Sometimes I think we at TMC think that we’re the center of God’s plan, that God doesn’t work anywhere else but our small campus.  Seeing the church faithfully serve and thrive among communities that don’t even know that TMC exists was refreshing and encouraging and reminded me of just what a big God we serve.

6.)    What have you recognized as weaknesses and/or sins about U.S. culture when you compare it to the culture you have been in?

Well, I know everyone says this, but as a culture, we in the U.S. are lazy, spoiled, wasteful, materialistic, and fat.  Seriously.  For example, when it came time to shower, I used a fraction of the water I normally use in the States.  While in Uganda, we rationed things that we needed because we didn’t know when we’d be able to re-stock our supplies; in America, we seem to always have the safety net of running to Wal-Mart or whatever. 

However, the biggest thing that stuck out to me was this: in Uganda, things just simply take more time to do.  It takes more time to get your water because you have to walk to the well, pump it, and walk back.  It takes more time to cook your food.  It takes more time to get from one place to another.  And when life happens at a slower pace, you have more time for your thoughts.  If you let yourself, you have more time to think about the things that really matter: your relationship with the Lord, your time in the Word and in prayer, your spiritual growth, sins in your life, and your relationships with people.  When you’re left alone with your thoughts like that, you have no choice but to be confronted with all the things you need to change.  What I realized is that we are just too busy for our own good in America—we’re too busy for self-examination.

7.)    What person or event impacted your life during this time? Please explain.

Wow.  I’m not sure I can narrow this down to one thing.  Every person on my team impacted me in different ways—I’m so very grateful for the team I was blessed with.  I was definitely impacted by having my dad there for a week; it was great to experience Uganda together.  But if I had to pick one person who impacted my life the most during this six-week period, it would be Shannon Hurley.  To see his passion for serving God as the King on the throne and his fervent desire to study and lift high the Scriptures was an encouragement and an example I want to emulate.  I learned a great deal just by watching him handle crisis situations and tough decisions.  He models Christ-like generosity, wisdom, and sacrificial love.

As far as what event impacted me the most, I would say it was the three full days of preaching that Ben, Hugh, and I were privileged to be a part of.  The three of us prepared as much as we could on only two days’ notice, but we mostly went into it just trusting the Lord to use us and speak through us any way He saw fit.  But what impacted me was that I realized that if I was going to preach this stuff, I had to really make sure, really sure, that I believed it in the first place.  I had to make sure that I had let the Word take root in my life before I expected it to change others’ lives.  I had to confess sin and remove it from my life, so that I could be a clean vessel to be used by God.  I loved watching the three of us work together as a team and open the Word together and study it so that we would be prepared to speak for God.  It truly was a great time and a life-changing experience.

8.)    How has the Word challenged you and what Scripture passages have become significant?

I was definitely challenged by the book of Hebrews and its warnings for those who have come close to accepting the Gospel but have just stopped short.  When I saw the repeated warnings of these people being eternally lost; it fueled my passion to even more boldly preach the Gospel to the people of Uganda, because for most of them, they’ve grown up hearing the Good News but haven’t truly accepted it.

Also, as I’ve said above, I was confronted with my lack of faith in God’s goodness.  I was challenged by James’ indictment in James 1, that the man who doubts God should not expect to get anything from God, but is instead a “double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” 

Another passage that has really stuck out to me and which sums up the major lessons I learned in Uganda has become my new memory passage—Isaiah 55:6-9.  It reads “Seek the Lord while He may be found; call upon Him while He is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that He may have compassion on him, and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon. For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts higher than your thoughts.” I love this passage because it speaks of God’s willingness to forgive, man’s opportunity to repent, and God’s holiness. 

9.)    What have you learned about prayer in the process of the class and the trip?

Wow.  I think the biggest thing I was confronted with was that I don’t pray nearly enough.  J.C. Ryle once said that for the Christian, prayer is like oxygen or water—without it, you’d begin to die.  I also saw that when one spends time praying for people, one’s affinity for those people grows.  I also saw that when one spends more time praying, one becomes more God-centered, and that’s huge for someone in leadership—the God-centeredness of a leader has a direct impact on the God-centeredness of his followers.

I’ve also seen that prayer should be the first refuge for the believer.  When something goes wrong, the Christian shouldn’t run first to a friend, or a technique, or panic, but rather go to the Lord in prayer.

10.)                        What impact will this trip have on your choices for life back in the States?

Hmmm… I wrote a whole entry on this in my journal, but I’ll give the abbreviated version here.  Because of my time in Uganda, I have resolved to be more passionate for the Gospel, to foster more genuine friendships with unbelievers, to always have an open home, to realize that my possessions are not my own, to not doubt the fact that God is a God of love and forgiveness, to not second-guess my decisions when I’m in a role of leadership, and most of all, to be a man who fears the Lord above all other things.

And also, I’m praying about going to the Missions Field after I finish seminary.  We’ll see… the Lord leads one step at a time.

11.)                        People back home will ask the generic question: “How was your trip?”  How will you answer that question using just two or three sentences?

Like this: “My trip to Uganda was an incredible time.  The Lord showed His glory time and again and drew us closer to Him.  As a team, we had a really fun, though trying time and grew closer to each other and were able to serve in several unexpected contexts.”