Personally speaking, as someone who has wrestled with doubt himself, I can tell you briefly a few things. First, please know that many people, including many Christians, struggle with doubt. You are definitely not the first person in Church History to struggle with doubt. I am often reminded of and encouraged by the father of the demon-possessed boy in Mark 9:23, who cried out to Jesus, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” In some instances, the doubts are justified: the person doubting in these cases is not a believer, and is desperate need to repent and to turn and submit to the glorious Person of Jesus Christ. In other cases, the doubts are not justified; either the person’s own sinful thought patterns, or possibly even the forces of the Evil One are bearing down upon a Christian.
I’m not trying to tell you that you are saved or that you are not saved; only the Lord knows that. And you are doing well by obeying the command we all have to examine ourselves to see if we are in the faith (2 Corinthians 13:5). However, I would encourage you to not lose hope. As long as you are breathing, you are receiving God’s kindness, because in Him we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28) and in Him all things hold together, including you (Colossians 1:17). And since we know that we are receiving God’s kindness, we must know that it is meant to lead us to repentance (Romans 2:4). So don’t ever give up hope!!! If you are not already a Christian, there is still an opportunity for you to turn, repent, and be saved, because God is extending to you the kindness of life.
Remember, the message of Salvation is for everyone who will believe, that God is calling ALL men to repentance (Acts 17:30), that God doesn’t take delight in the death of the wicked (Ezekiel 30:11), God is willing that none should perish but that all should come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9), that if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9), and that He is standing at the door and is knocking and He will come to the one who opens the door to Him (Revelation 3:20). Remember that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1) and that salvation does not come to anyone who works for it but rather it comes to the one who trusts in God who justifies the ungodly (Romans 4:5). Remember that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6), and He offers Himself to anyone who thirsts for true life (John 7:37), and He will NEVER cast out anyone who comes to Him (John 6:37).
Every time we see a true conversion story in the Bible it involves two elements: Repentance and Faith. Now, these two elements are true gifts from God, because we are dead in our sins before He acts in us (Ephesians 2:1-10). However, we do know that true repentance is “a change of mind so complete that it leads to a change of life,” (from the definition of the Greek term “metanoia”, which is what is usually translated as “repentance” in the NT) and that true Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1). These are gifts from God, and He delights in giving them, because He delights in practicing what the OT calls “steadfast love” (Jeremiah 9:24), which is essentially the NT concept of “grace.” Remember that He is a God of salvation and to Him belong deliverances from death (Psalm 68:20), and that He is good and forgiving and abounding in love to ALL who call upon Him (Psalm 86:5). So, the one who truly desires these gifts of true repentance and true faith needs only to call upon the Lord, and He WILL grant them. Remember, it is impossible for God to lie (Hebrews 6:18) and that He has promised that if we really and fully trust in Him, He will act to our benefit and not our harm (Psalm 37:5; Proverbs 3:5-6).
I can assure you, based on the revealed character of God as found within Holy Scripture, that if you cry out in true brokenness over your sin and beg God for the mercy that was made specifically manifest in the Person, righteous life, and atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ, He will answer you. This means you must place your faith completely in His perfect life (in which He completely fulfilled the demands of the law– Matthew 5:17) and in His atoning sacrifice on the Cross (in which He completely paid your debt and took your punishment that you earned because of your sins), fully believing what Paul wrote to the Corinthians; that God made Jesus, who never sinned, to take our record and guiltiness of sin, and in doing so, we can have the perfect and complete Righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21).
What does it mean to “place your faith in Jesus”? I’ve often asked this question. It means you trust Him completely to have already paid for your debt in full, trusting completely that He nailed the record of all your sins to the Cross (Colossians 2:13-14), and that He rose from the dead, thus conquering death for those who believe in Him and also proving true ALL of His claims (Romans 10:9-10; 1 Corinthians 15). Please know that to put your faith in Jesus Christ also involves believing completely that He is Who He said He is, and He clearly said over and over that He was One with God the Father (John 10:30), and that He was the great I AM, the God of the OT Who spoke to Abraham and Moses (John 8:58; Mark 14:61-62). This means that if we believe He is Savior, we also by necessity believe that He is God. And if we then really believe He is God, then we must realize that He has all authority over everything, including you and me and every person (Psalm 24:1; Matthew 28:18), and that He is Lord of all (Philippians 2:9-11). This means that if we are to believe in Christ to be our Savior, we absolutely must also submit to Him as Lord. He is the Master, we are the slaves. He is the Teacher, we are the students. He is the Shepherd, we are the sheep (John 10). To put our faith in Him is to die to our old selves, to fully and completely renounce the entire way we have lived in our sin and to follow Him in both beliefs and in practically living out our lives (Luke 9:23-24). It means to give Him control of absolutely everything we have: our lives, our talents, our skills, our intellect, our resources, our time, our money, our futures, our very souls. But know this, that when we take His yoke upon us and submit ourselves to His direction, He is a kind Master who is gentle and promises rest for our souls. The Bible says that for every person, either they will follow an idol (whether it be themselves, or something else) or they will follow Christ. You have to follow and submit to someone or something; that’s not an option. The only question is, Whom will you follow? If you submit your life to any kind of idol, you will perish; if you submit your life to Christ, you gain the wonderful gift of God Himself! But please remember and count the cost: true salvation also includes complete submission.
Remember that God doesn’t want our works, no matter how impressive they are to us, but rather He promises to regard the man who is humble, broken over sin, and who respectfully fears His Word (Isaiah 66:2). And remember that the truly repentant Tax Collector who was weeping over His sin (not only over the consequences of his sin, but over the fact that He was somebody who had offended the All-Powerful and Only Holy God) and was begging God for mercy was justified in God’s eyes (Luke 18:13-14). Trust Jesus completely when He says that the person who hears His words and truly believes in the God of the Bible will not come into eternal judgment but will pass from death to life (John 5:24). Have faith in God, and believe that He is Who He says He is: The Only True God who is merciful and gracious and slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgressions and sin, but Who will by no means clear the guilty (Exodus 34:6-7). If you want to please God, you must have this real and true faith, because whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him (Hebrews 11:6).
Let me leave you with two passages that have greatly encouraged me:
“Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat… Incline your ear, and come to me; hear, that your soul may live… Seek the Lord while He may be found, call upon Him while He is near; let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord that He may have compassion on him, and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon.” (Isaiah 55:1, 3, 5-6)
“Since then we have a great High Priest Who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but One Who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:14-16)
