So for “Preparation for Global Outreach”, which honestly was one of the coolest classes I took at Master’s, we have to do written debriefs after we get back from our summer missions trips. Since a lot of people have been asking me about my 6-week trip to Uganda (I got back two weeks ago today), I figured I’d kill two birds with one stone and put an (edited) version of my debrief on my blog. If you want the full presentation with pics, keep watching my facebook for descriptive photo albums. If you want the ultra-cliff-notes edition of how my trip went, just skip to question 11. Enjoy!
1.) What about the touches, sites, sounds, and smells of your trip will you take home with you and what impact do you think it will have on your life in the States?
Wow. I think the thing that will stick with me the most were the sights and smells of the slums we saw in Jinja. It was hot, oppressive, and cramped. The poverty was the worst I’d ever seen. Half the children had absolutely no clothes. The main source of income for the women was to work for twelve hours a day in illegal alcohol stills for slumlords—and these women were only paid 1,000 shillings a day (which amounts to about $0.05 an hour!). The place reeked of alcohol. Worse still was the unnerving feeling that seemed to emanate from the Witch Doctor’s hut right in the middle of the slum. I still am stunned silent when I think about the sheer concentration of poverty, injustice, and demonic activity in one area that was less than a quarter-mile squared. But one other thing I will never forget about our short time in the Jinja slums is the image of one of the members of the Faculty Team standing on the very doorstep of the Witch Doctor’s hut, clearly sharing the Gospel with about 20 kids from the slums who were listening to her with rapt attention. It was incredibly encouraging to see the Light of God’s truth shining even in the darkest of places.
Another thing that I will never forget from the trip were the three days that I and the two other guys on my team were asked to preach at a Conference for Children’s Workers and Pastors in Northern Uganda (the Gulu area). We preached for three solid days to about 75 people crammed in a large, long, straw-roof hut that was their church. It was hot, sweaty, and dirty; but it was exhilarating. The three of us felt definitely unworthy to be preaching to these people who had suffered so much (from both the war with the LRA and from HIV/AIDS) and very much in over our heads, but the Lord filled up what we lacked and proved Himself to be strong despite our weaknesses. When we were asked questions, we would confer and then tackle the questions one by one, and we were surprised at the passages and words that would just come to mind. To be used by God is this way was a thrilling privilege that I will not forget.
As far as what impact this will have on my life in the States, I now have an actual concept of what injustice in a third-world context looks like ingrained into my mind. It has made me more passionate to see justice carried out. It has made clear that demonic activity is very real—up until now, I’ve always believed that demons exist (because the Bible says so), but only in a theoretical sense. Also, it has reinforced my belief that the Good News of Jesus Christ is the only ultimate answer for such darkness. Finally, I have full confidence in the ability and willingness of the Lord to use unworthy people for His glory.
2.) What do you wish you had known before you went?
Overall, I feel that I was very prepared for this trip. I had talked quite a bit with people who had gone to Uganda before, and they were very helpful. However, there were a few things I wish I had known beforehand. I wish I had known that I would need a North Face jacket. I wish I had known that I would need way more dress clothes and way less t-shirts. I wish I had known that at times it’s very, very hard to be a Team Leader as well as a friend to everyone on the team. I wish I had known just how hard it was going to be to keep a journal when you’re the Team Leader. I wish I had known how to treat people more gently—I had to learn that the hard way.
3.) What were you glad you didn’t know before you went?
I’m glad I didn’t know about the mosquitoes in Gulu that carry not only malaria but fast-acting meningitis. I’m glad I didn’t know about the living conditions in the refugee camp beforehand. I’m glad I didn’t know what posha or matooke tasted like beforehand. I’m glad I didn’t know about basin-bathing beforehand. I’m glad I didn’t know about eating the bowl of fried ants beforehand. But the cool thing about all of these is that I found, time and again, that the Lord gives grace in the moments we need it—and we truly can handle anything that’s thrown our way, so long as we humbly rely on His strength and not our own.
4.) What sins in your own heart have became apparent?
Ha. This might take a while. Actually, Shannon asked us this on the trip, and I was able to narrow it down to three main areas that the Lord made apparent. Even better, I was able to list them with alliteration (classic TMS style). The three main areas of sin were Immaturity, Insecurity, and Idolatry.
I say “immaturity” in the sense that I was confronted with my serious lack of discretion in what I say, when I say it, whom I say it to, and how much I say. God basically made it clear that there are times when I just need to keep my big mouth shut. He also showed me that I definitely need to be more gracious in my speech. This has been something that I’ve struggled with for a long time and have been working on to improve. After reading through the book of Proverbs many times, it’s been made clear that “a babbling fool will come to ruin,” and that’s definitely not someone I want to be.
The second area, that of “insecurity”, pertains to basically a wrong perception I’ve had of both God as well as the people around me. About two weeks into the trip, I realized that I was very quick to believe that God was always angry and disappointed with me and that my team was always untrusting and resentful of my leadership. The Lord made it clear that nothing could be further from the truth. I realized that I was quick to believe God’s promises of wrath and anger but I didn’t really believe His promises of grace and forgiveness to the repentant. I saw that this was causing me to fret about my spiritual condition to the point of rendering me practically ineffective and a hindrance to the team. I also saw that this was a huge dishonor to the Lord—to believe fully that He was a God who was frustrated with me but never willing to forgive is to present a distorted image of Who He truly is. Secondly, I was rendering myself a poor leader by believing that my team doubted my leadership when they didn’t at all. God showed me that the fear of man had become such an issue that it was paralyzing me and that while I should be open to feedback and that I should always be teachable, I can’t spend all my time worrying about how people view me. It’s just not productive.
Third, in regards to “idolatry”, I realized just how much I look for joy and satisfaction in things that are not God. In many ways, life was simpler in Uganda. There was more time for Bible-reading, for prayer, and for contemplation. I took great joy in the amount of time I was able to spend dwelling on the things of the Lord; and in doing so, I realized just how much I didn’t do this in the States. I realized that I was committing the sin that Israel is indicted for in Jeremiah 2- forsaking the Living Waters of God and chasing after broken cisterns that do not satisfy. A huge catalyst in the process of this realization was Piper’s question in God is the Gospel: “would you be happy in Heaven if God wasn’t there?”
5.) What have you learned about love?
a. For God? It was reinforced to me over and over that to truly love God is an act that is both a duty we fulfill and a passionate emotion we feel. Christ said that the Greatest Commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind. Studying the Scriptures with Shannon, I saw over and over that we love God by serving Him as King and obeying His edict, which is the Word. Reading God is the Gospel by Piper, I saw that loving God is a passionate emotion that we have because we cherish Him as the ultimate Treasure.
b. Of God for you? The main thing that was reinforced to me about God’s love for me is that it is unconditional. This is something that I’ve always believed, albeit somewhat theoretically. On top of that, I realized that I have been very prone to believe that God’s wrath and frustration is always waiting at the door, always waiting for me to make the slightest mistake; but I have been hesitant to really believe that God is willing to forgive, willing to show His love. I reached a series of breaking points on this trip where I had to ask myself why was it I was so willing to believe God’s promises of wrath but not His promises of love. I realized that if I’m going to say that I truly believe the entirety of the Scriptures, I have to also believe in God’s willingness to forgive.
c. For your team? Hmmm…. I realized that loving my team meant doing what was needed and not always what was popular. In short, loving my team meant sacrificing without complaining and truly caring about their wellbeing.
d. For the church? Once again I was blown away by seeing the church in a non-American context. I love being in church services where the songs and preaching are not in English. And church services in Northern Uganda were especially incredible—their praise songs would be loud, a capella, joyous, and would each go for well more than ten minutes. Needless to say, I got very, very good at clapping. Another thing I loved about seeing the church in Uganda was that there were tons of people leading joyful lives that bring glory to the Lord and they’ve never even heard of The Master’s College. Sometimes I think we at TMC think that we’re the center of God’s plan, that God doesn’t work anywhere else but our small campus. Seeing the church faithfully serve and thrive among communities that don’t even know that TMC exists was refreshing and encouraging and reminded me of just what a big God we serve.
6.) What have you recognized as weaknesses and/or sins about U.S. culture when you compare it to the culture you have been in?
Well, I know everyone says this, but as a culture, we in the U.S. are lazy, spoiled, wasteful, materialistic, and fat. Seriously. For example, when it came time to shower, I used a fraction of the water I normally use in the States. While in Uganda, we rationed things that we needed because we didn’t know when we’d be able to re-stock our supplies; in America, we seem to always have the safety net of running to Wal-Mart or whatever.
However, the biggest thing that stuck out to me was this: in Uganda, things just simply take more time to do. It takes more time to get your water because you have to walk to the well, pump it, and walk back. It takes more time to cook your food. It takes more time to get from one place to another. And when life happens at a slower pace, you have more time for your thoughts. If you let yourself, you have more time to think about the things that really matter: your relationship with the Lord, your time in the Word and in prayer, your spiritual growth, sins in your life, and your relationships with people. When you’re left alone with your thoughts like that, you have no choice but to be confronted with all the things you need to change. What I realized is that we are just too busy for our own good in America—we’re too busy for self-examination.
7.) What person or event impacted your life during this time? Please explain.
Wow. I’m not sure I can narrow this down to one thing. Every person on my team impacted me in different ways—I’m so very grateful for the team I was blessed with. I was definitely impacted by having my dad there for a week; it was great to experience Uganda together. But if I had to pick one person who impacted my life the most during this six-week period, it would be Shannon Hurley. To see his passion for serving God as the King on the throne and his fervent desire to study and lift high the Scriptures was an encouragement and an example I want to emulate. I learned a great deal just by watching him handle crisis situations and tough decisions. He models Christ-like generosity, wisdom, and sacrificial love.
As far as what event impacted me the most, I would say it was the three full days of preaching that Ben, Hugh, and I were privileged to be a part of. The three of us prepared as much as we could on only two days’ notice, but we mostly went into it just trusting the Lord to use us and speak through us any way He saw fit. But what impacted me was that I realized that if I was going to preach this stuff, I had to really make sure, really sure, that I believed it in the first place. I had to make sure that I had let the Word take root in my life before I expected it to change others’ lives. I had to confess sin and remove it from my life, so that I could be a clean vessel to be used by God. I loved watching the three of us work together as a team and open the Word together and study it so that we would be prepared to speak for God. It truly was a great time and a life-changing experience.
8.) How has the Word challenged you and what Scripture passages have become significant?
I was definitely challenged by the book of Hebrews and its warnings for those who have come close to accepting the Gospel but have just stopped short. When I saw the repeated warnings of these people being eternally lost; it fueled my passion to even more boldly preach the Gospel to the people of Uganda, because for most of them, they’ve grown up hearing the Good News but haven’t truly accepted it.
Also, as I’ve said above, I was confronted with my lack of faith in God’s goodness. I was challenged by James’ indictment in James 1, that the man who doubts God should not expect to get anything from God, but is instead a “double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.”
Another passage that has really stuck out to me and which sums up the major lessons I learned in Uganda has become my new memory passage—Isaiah 55:6-9. It reads “Seek the Lord while He may be found; call upon Him while He is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that He may have compassion on him, and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon. For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts higher than your thoughts.” I love this passage because it speaks of God’s willingness to forgive, man’s opportunity to repent, and God’s holiness.
9.) What have you learned about prayer in the process of the class and the trip?
Wow. I think the biggest thing I was confronted with was that I don’t pray nearly enough. J.C. Ryle once said that for the Christian, prayer is like oxygen or water—without it, you’d begin to die. I also saw that when one spends time praying for people, one’s affinity for those people grows. I also saw that when one spends more time praying, one becomes more God-centered, and that’s huge for someone in leadership—the God-centeredness of a leader has a direct impact on the God-centeredness of his followers.
I’ve also seen that prayer should be the first refuge for the believer. When something goes wrong, the Christian shouldn’t run first to a friend, or a technique, or panic, but rather go to the Lord in prayer.
10.) What impact will this trip have on your choices for life back in the States?
Hmmm… I wrote a whole entry on this in my journal, but I’ll give the abbreviated version here. Because of my time in Uganda, I have resolved to be more passionate for the Gospel, to foster more genuine friendships with unbelievers, to always have an open home, to realize that my possessions are not my own, to not doubt the fact that God is a God of love and forgiveness, to not second-guess my decisions when I’m in a role of leadership, and most of all, to be a man who fears the Lord above all other things.
And also, I’m praying about going to the Missions Field after I finish seminary. We’ll see… the Lord leads one step at a time.
11.) People back home will ask the generic question: “How was your trip?” How will you answer that question using just two or three sentences?
Like this: “My trip to Uganda was an incredible time. The Lord showed His glory time and again and drew us closer to Him. As a team, we had a really fun, though trying time and grew closer to each other and were able to serve in several unexpected contexts.”
